Sellout

I finally did it, I got an umbrella.

So for the entirety of my life on our beautiful British isles, I’ve been a northerner; pies, bacon butties and rain. Last year marked the beginning of my life down south, and let me tell you, it feels so different! Everything is more expensive, the streets are like a catwalk and strangers are much less likely to strike up conversation on public transport (see my post on this).

Going to school in the north wasn’t too bad though. I had my solid group of friends and we made it through, now gone our separate ways. There was a lot of schoolyard banter, but one thing that you would ensure you ridicule would be bringing an umbrella to school as a guy. What were you?! The only people that could carry umbrella were businessmen and girls, everyone else just had to stick a mac on and brave it come rain or shine rain.

I feel a lot of compromises have been made with respect to my strong northern upbringing: my accent, I’ve been told, is horrendous, my dress sense has become much more grandad in nature (I’m writing this in a brown flecky wool blazer, small-check shirt and brogues) and private school doesn’t seem all that bad! But one thing I’ve never done, is purchase a parasol. It was just too ground in to me.

There are a few things that have stuck though, it’s hard to sausage roll and football when everything around you is so pimms and croquet, but I still dislike cricket, will never vote conservative and Ill never willingly wear a pair of red trousers.

I don’t know what it was, maybe London really has gotten to me. Maybe I’ve finally overcome the hard indoctrination of the northern playground. Maybe I’m just sick of dampness and getting my hair wet, but when my mum brought it down to me to pack for uni, I just couldn’t say no. Having taken it on a spin, I can say I’m never looking back.

The message behind this? Stay true to your roots, unless it involves buying an umbrella – do that.

B

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